Tuesday 20 November 2012

Stress Reliever


Stress Reliever # 1

Wife : You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why? 

Hubby : When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture and the problem disappears. 

Wife : You see, how miraculous and powerful I am for you? 

Hubby : Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, “What other problem can there be greater than this one?”    

Stress Reliever # 2 

Girl : When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and lighten your burden. 

Boy : It's very kind of you, darling. But I don't have any worries or troubles.  

Girl : Well that's because we aren't married yet.  

Stress Reliever # 3 

Son : Mom, when I was on the bus with dad this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady. 

Mom : Well, you have done the right thing.  

Son: But mum, I was sitting on daddy's lap.  

Stress Reliever # 4 

Wife to husband : What's your excuse for coming home at this time of the night? 

Husband to wife : Golfing with friends, my dear. 

Wife to husband : What? At 2 am? 

Husband to wife : Yes, we used night clubs.  

Stress Reliever # 5 

A newly married man asked his wife, “Would you have married me if my father hadn't left me a fortune?”   

“Honey,”  the woman replied sweetly, “I'd have married you NO MATTER WHO LEFT YOU A FORTUNE.”   

Stress Reliever # 6 

Father to son after exam : Let me see your report card. 

Son : My friend just borrowed it. He wants to scare his parents.   

Stress Reliever # 7 

“How was your blind date?” a college student asked her roommate.  

“Terrible!” the roommate answered. 

“He showed up in his 1932 Rolls Royce.”  

“Wow! That's a very expensive car. What 's so bad about that?” 

“He was the original owner.”  

Stress Reliever # 8 

A teacher asked her class for sentences using the word ‘beans’.

“My father grows beans,” said one student.  

“My father cooks beans,” said another.  

Then little Johnny spoke up, “We are all human beans.” 

Stress Reliever # 9 

Interviewer to Millionaire : To whom do you owe your success as a millionaire?

Millionaire : I owe everything to my wife. 

Interviewer : Wow, she must be some woman. What were you before you married her? 

Millionaire : A Billionaire.  

Stress Reliever # 10

Girl to her boyfriend : One kiss and I'll be yours forever.  

The guy replies : Thanks for the warning.  

Stress Reliever # 11 

A wife asked her husband, “What do you like most in me? My pretty face or my sexy body?” 

He looked at her from head to toe and replied, “I like your sense of humour.”

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