Three Best Jokes

1. ** Desmond and Dobbin **

Desmond, who was a real town dweller, drove his car into a ditch when out on the country roads. Luckily, a local farmer came was passing by with his big strong horse called Dobbin.

He hitched Dobbin up to the car and shouted loudly, “Pull, Dolly, pull!” 

Dobbin didn’t move one inch.

Then the farmer yelled, “Pull, Robbie, pull.” Still Dobbin failed to respond.

Once more the farmer commanded in a stentorian voice, “Pull, Ringo, pull.” Again - nothing.

Then the farmer nonchalantly and quietly muttered, “Pull, Dobbin, pull.” Immediately the horse easily dragged the car out of the ditch.

Desmond was very appreciative but also very curious. He asked the farmer why he called his horse by a different name three times.

The farmer whispered by way of reply, “Oh, Dobbin is blind and if he thought he was the only one pulling, he wouldn’t even try.”

2. ** What to do about Cars Speeding in Villages? **

The local council could not afford a speed camera, so they put up a sign saying:
Slow down Old People's Home. - It had no effect.

At the next meeting the decided to play on the paternal instincts and put up a sign:
Danger - Children at Play. - No discernable reduction in traffic speed.

Then the chairman had a brain-wave and suggested they try a sign with:
Nudist Colony. - As a result of the Nudist Colony notice, white vans and lorries crawl thought the village.

3. ** Back at School **

Early one morning, a mother went in to wake up her son. “Wake up, son. It's time to go to school!”

“But why, Mom? I don't want to go.”

“Give me two reasons why you don't want to go.”

“Well, the kids hate me for one, and the teachers hate me, too!”

“Oh, that's no reason not to go to school. Come on now and get ready.”

“Give me two reasons why I should go to school.”

“Well, for one, you're 52 years old. And for another, you're the Headteacher!”